Building from the topic I started my last
blog post, the INFP personality type is an uncommon type. Only about four
percent of the population has this personality type compared to the fifteen
other types on the Myers-Briggs scale. Even more interesting, the INFP
type is more frequently found in women than men.
Therefore, since I
am a male INFP, I have found myself subjected to gender stereotypes all throughout
my life. The American society expects men to be, for a lack of a better
word, manly. That is, men are expected to be decisive and
assertive problem solvers. In my case, I would much rather allow a
conflict to happen passively than try to take action and do something about it
and expose myself to more emotional pain than I would feel by doing nothing..
This is not something I do whole-heartedly; I am often at inner conflict
about this aspect of myself.
It also makes it
very difficult to date. I haven't had an official girlfriend in about
five years. It's been more than four years since I've even been on a
date. Both INFP and autistic individuals find dating to be very
intimidating, the combined total has made my dating life miserable to experience
and nostalgic to look back on. Summoning the resolve to ask out a girl,
who might say no, stretches my anxiety to the limit. This is not helped by the fact that in this society, men are
expected to ask women out and not the other way around. Much to my
disadvantage.
To sum it all up,
being a male INFP with autism in the world of dating makes me feel like a
hairless cat being entered into a competitive dog show. It is not easy by
any means. It's reached the point where it's more trouble than it's worth
for me to force myself to approach girls. I'm just living my life with
the belief that the right woman will walk into my life and make the first move.
Other than that, I will continue to write my fantasy series without the
fear of a family complicating my dream of becoming the next great writer.
It doesn't mean that I don't want a family, but it's sort of become a way
for me to justify, both to others and to myself, exactly why I have such a hard
time dating.